Kennedy my "crunchy" baby

Kennedy is proof that my years and years of baby fever finally paid off!

I could not come up with enough words to describe the pure joy we felt as parents the day she was delivered. I think that is why I love the picture above. You can see the joy written all over Mike's face. He was such a proud Dad. Now the look on Kennedy's face is one of "put me back" while the look on my face is one of joy, epidural, and disbelief that she just came out of me. Pretty sure just about every mom feels that way after birth. She was the product of a 31 hour induced labor but worth every minute of it. 

Sitting there watching Mike stare at her every move, all I could think was "So here I go again". It was a long gap between the kids. Billy now 10 and I felt like I was starting over. I will say having kids in your thirties is soooo different then in your twenties. In my twenties I took so much more for granted. I gave up after just 2 weeks of breastfeeding because it was to challenging, I did not worry about chemicals or toxins that my son could get through food and cleaning products. Didn't give it a second thought about putting him in daycare. I just went along doing what I thought was the normal. When Billy was diagnosed with Autism my first question was what causes it? I wanted to know so I could prevent it from happening to the next one. As most of you know there is no answer to that question. Some people believe its caused by environmental toxins or vaccinations. Some believe it is genetic. But the bottom line is nobody knows. I have no idea what the future holds for Kennedy in regards to this. But as a parent my job is to love and protect her. So I will love her regardless. But I will do whatever I can to protect her from as much as I can. 

I suppose the first realization I had that I was different as a mom this time around was when it came to breastfeeding her. I had read all the books and had bought all of the supplies I thought I would need. Had the pump just in case and the nursing cover and the gel pads, etc. I knew it would be hard given my experience with Billy but I never imagined it would not be possible. We had difficulty right from the start and I had at least 6 different lactation consultants working with us for over a week and we tried everything including medications only to find out I didn't have enough milk ducts to produce more then 1 oz of milk every 3 hours. I was so crushed I cried for days over this. But just 10 years earlier didn't care about it. Funny how things change. 

So now we are on a different path. Breastfeeding was out. But cloth diapering, organic homemade baby food, and toxin free cleaning supplies, dishes, soaps...you name it are in! We are learning a lot as we go. But it has been entertaining to say the least. Can you picture two adults standing around a cloth diaper in complete amazement and laughter at what a child can do to a cloth diaper? Thank you to Darcie for flipping the light switch on in my mind about cloth diapers. I hope I can do the same for another mother someday. My next post will have more about this for sure.